Saturday, November 8, 2008

I Was Claire Huxtable for 10 Minutes!

Last week, the incessant nagging finally got to me. Thing one (Destry) had been bugging me FOREVER about having salmon for dinner. I kept putting it off because it's impossible to find it fresh here and the farm raised isn't really my style and this stuff ain't cheap either. I was also putting it off because it takes a lot to fill the tummies of monsters and my endless pit because the three of us LOVE IT!! My forever Hero could certainly do without it and was happy that I was preparing it on a weekend he wouldn't be here.
So, I take a trip to the store pick up some salmon and ask the boys if they wouldn't mind salmon, green beans and mashed potatoes. These sides were what I already had in the house so they were going to have to deal with it. I usually prepare a stir-fry and rice with it and change it up regularly as to not bore them with having sides at all! They would certainly just eat the salmon.

Be back in a while. Having lunch with Cindy today.....Hmm..Mexican.....Hmm...margaritas....I feel like Homer Simpson. Photobucket

Okay, so I made it back and it was a fun yet stressful day today. Another blog entry in the making for sure! Just saw the movie "The Haunting of Molly Hartley." Disappointing to say the least. I wasted my free movie tickets! Arrrggghhh!

Okay, back to the story. I get home, fix dinner and then I hear from the broccoli lover himself (Declan despises it), "That doesn't look like green beans, Mom."
"I know dear, but it would've taken longer to fix them up nice and tasty. We didn't have the right things to season them anyway."

Thing 2 (aka Declan) concedes and proceeds to wash up for dinner. They both sit down after a short bit and I hear this from Thing 2:

Thing 2 - Uh, Mom, my mashed potatoes are yellow.
Me - Well, Declan, they're three cheese mashed potatoes, I'm trying something new and they are DELICIOUS!
Thing 2 - Oh yeah, well I could do without the cheese.
Thing 1 - Mom, the potatoes smell like vomit!
Me - Oh, I'm sorry. I guess you're eating vomit for dinner.
Thing 1 - Mom, I really don't like them, they smell funny.
Me - Eat your dinner! Enough about the potatoes.

Thing 2 dives in and begins eating his least favorite item....broccoli! He LOVES mashed potatoes but isn't really feeling this dish.

I see that Thing 1 is playing with his food after devouring his salmon and broccoli. And Thing 2 offers some advice:

Thing 2 - See Destry, you need to eat your least favorite food first and then work your way up by getting the one you hate over with in the beginning. Isn't that the right way to eat, Mom?

Me - There really isn't a right way to eat your food as long as you eat it!

Thing 2 - Destry, I saved the best for last and now I'm eating my salmon, Hmmm....Hmmm it's so yummy for my tummy!

Thing 1 - Mom, can I have more salmon?
Me - No, eat your mashed potatoes first, and then I will give you more salmon if there's any left by the time you're done.
Thing 1 - UUGGGHHHH! But they taste bad!
Me - I'm sure they do, but you let them get cold, now they taste like cold vomit! (I laugh at him and he wasn't happy)
Thing 2 - Destry, they really aren't that bad, but you should've ate them first.
Thing 1 - "Have eaten them" Not "ate", Declan! Mom, could you heat them up for me please?
Me - Okay, but when I do, you will have two minutes to eat them or you won't get any salmon.
Thing 1 - Aww man!

I heat them up, add a little more butter, salt and pepper and place them in front of him. By this time, I'm cleaning up the kitchen and Thing 2 is on his second helping of salmon.

This is my left over plate I made for work, so it's not exactly what our dinner looked like.
Photobucket

I promise you the potatoes were a deep yellow almost orange in color. The pic is somewhat faded.

So, I'm cleaning and hearing a lot of sighing going on at the dinner table. All movement comes to a halt when out of my son's mouth comes:

Thing 1 - Mom, could you NEVER make this again???!!!???

I lost my mind and had a conniption in the kitchen. My head spun around completely and I turned into Claire Huxtable!



I guess I entered a paralell dimension because nearly 10 minutes went by and Thing 1 was looking sad. I had just finished saying...
"Let me tell you something, Destry, I gave you life! Your Dad and I bought this house for you to live in, I go to work everyday to pay for that fork your holding in your hand that our DNA made! I clean the house, pay the bills, I do the grocery shopping, prepare the food, cook the food and even fix your favorite food for dinner sometimes. I give you choices! What other parent gives their kids choices??? Huh???"
Thing 1 - Uh.... But....

Me - Don't you interrupt me when I'm trying to make a point!

How are you gonna tell me what to make and what NOT to make in MY kitchen, in MY house? This is my domain, you just live in this house because I gave you permission..... Do you want to pay for it? Should I let you try to get a job so you can support me from now on? I know it may come to that when I'm old and decrepit, but we got some time now. Maybe then, you can fix whatever YOU want for dinner and you can tell me to eat my dinner or go to bed. Would you like that?

Thing 1 - Actually...
Me - Boy, don't you say another word. I smile politely and say.....Now, are you ready for your second helping of salmon?

The phone rings and it's my Hero. He asks me why I sound different and I tell him that the Claire Huxtable came out of me for a bit and I just finished lecturing HIS son on how the one with the responsibility makes the decisions. And when he can do what I do day in and day out, HE can make dinner. But by that time I'm sure he'll be in his own house with his own wife and she'll be making the decisions anyway.....LOL! Some things may never change! Just kidding!

Well, who knows what will happen. I just know that he caught me a little of guard. It left such an impression on me that I had to tell this story all week long. It may seem a bit harsh, but I wasn't yelling. I had a calm, even tone just like Claire Huxtable. But I meant what I said and that's why he teared up. He knew he wasn't getting out of eating those "vomit smelling" potatoes! Very funny!

Good night!

2 comments:

Amber said...

WOW...LOL! That is awesome!

Anonymous said...

I ate most of what was for dinner,growing up,if you didn't it would be less in your tummy. LOL,Great story,,,I can imagine Destry face.

Love you guys

Mom